Wednesday, May 28, 2008

As many of you know, my mom lives with me and suffers from advanced dementia. Many times I just have to laugh, or I would be doing a lot of crying.

She has given up many of the things she did all her life, like reading the paper and doing the crossword each day. She even did the weekly crossword in the NY Times. She was an avid reader and loved to sew. She favored political television, as well as biographical and historical shows.

Even now, she keep the tv on, but is a bit "confused" as to the content. She was telling me there's "a woman running for president", and she thinks that woman will win because she "has a brother or something who is in politics!"

Mom has been exhibiting some BIZARRE eating habits lately. She is not oriented to the time of day, and often enters the kitchen several times a day, announcing, "Good Morning". Then she looks for a cup of hot coffee. Of course, at 2 o'clock in the afternoon, there is NO hot coffee. She had been in a routine of eating PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY sandwiches .. two or three a day! Now, she has been "raiding" the fridge, opening jars of things like pickle relish, horseradish, ranch dressing, and WHATEVER, and eating with a spoon right out of the jar. Now, not only is this DISGUSTING to me, but she uses a clean spoon each time, and places empty jars back in the fridge! She no longer makes sandwiches, but eats the peanut butter right out of the jar, too. Because she is disoriented to time, she eats everything all at once. I go shopping, buy her a dozen yogurts or so, and by the next day she has eaten them all! It sort of reminds me of going on vacation; you can leave food for a cat for a few days and there is no problem, but leave it for a dog and he eats it all, THEN vomits it all, before you return .... lol.

My solution for this was to buy a new refrigerator. My son and I went shopping last weekend, and I purchased a smaller one for our garage. He will pick it up later this week. My plan is to set it right outside of our kitchen, which is attached to the garage. So it will be pretty convenient for us, and I will STOCK our old one, in the kitchen, with a day's supply of food for mom.

She thinks the snow will be "flying" any day now, but has decided she will not drive this winter! (She hasn't driven for about 10 years). She gets our names confused, and often comments that she has not seen "so and so" for quite a while ... when actually that person may have just left a few hours before. She asks several times a day where my son Michael works and what he does. Each morning when I check on her, give her her pills, and say goodbye, she says, "oh, you have to work today? This is Sunday isn't it?"

All in all, I am still able to keep her in my home. However, I have begun the search for an assisted living facility where she may be safer and I would not have to worry so much. I am sorry to say, the day will come when she will need more than I am able to provide for her.

Until that time, I will just continue to "greet" her with "good morning", each night before I go to bed!

Now, for you, for being so kind to take the time to read about MY life, I am giving YOU a FREEBIE. You can DOWNLOAD HERE. Enjoy! (sorry,link has expired)

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

I often have to remind myself, when I catch myself complaining about various aches and pains or inconveniences, just how blessed I truly am and how much harder many others have things. You will be in my prayers! Your mom's antics remind me somewhat of things my kids do - I wonder if you put her through the same stuff when you were little. ;)

Anonymous said...

Oh My....You poor Dear....Thats a lot to have on your plate but Mom is Mom right ?? I know it is difficult to deal with a person in that state of mind but sometimes we have to just deal with it...... My Mom is 92 and lives in Chicago all by herself but I have 2 Sisters the live close to her that watch over her...Her memory is slowly going also but at 92 that is more or less expected....We can't get in often because I won't drive the freeway and hubby has glocoma....I'll I can say is hang in there Dear.....Sending a few Hugs ....Thank You for your Lovely Gift.....See U 2moro....Grammadiane

grammy201 said...

Thank you very much for today's download!
It is very hard taking care of someone we love who has dementia as you don't know what is coming next...
The 2nd refrigerator is a great idea; I'm sure you've become quite inventive with different situations along the way! As for assitisted living you are doing a good thing by looking into this now before it is needed. Too many people wait till the last minute to find a place and often choose the first place they see which isn't always a good thing! My thoughts and prayers go out to you and yours during this difficult time. Bless you for taking on such a huge responsibility!

Anonymous said...

Marsha,
HI there. I sympathize with you over your mother. I am glad I was able to take care of my mother until she passed away 1 year ago this last Feb. Now of course I had 2 sisters and 2 sister in laws that would help me too. But for the most part it was me and my oldest sister that was there 24-7. I miss my mom and try not to think too hard about her. Otherwise I would cry. I wish now I had written down all the silly things mom had said to us. I can't remember any of them now.. My sister's will remind me I am sure *LOL*
*HUGS* to you and your sweet mother. Make sure you put a small jar of peanut butter in that old frig for her *LOL*
Thanks for the freebie.
HUGS
Carolyn

Anonymous said...

Thank you for the freebie :)

I have worked in Assisted Living Facilities for several years now, cooking for these wonderful folks.
It is such a sad disease, I admire you in keeping your mother with you for as long as possible.
I wish there were more people out there doing it, hard as it is, I know.
But one day you will look back and be happy that you did, I no longer have my mother, and to this day I still long to hear her voice and laughter. Enjoy your mother. :)

Beth

Anonymous said...

Thanks so much for the sweet download. I am so glad you are keeping your Mom close as long as you can, difficult as it may be. My Dad passed away the day after 2007 Thanksgiving...and I still miss him so much. He was starting to have a lot of problems with his memory and it was so hard to watch. But I would give anything to have that problem to deal with again. God bless you both!

Anonymous said...

I so admire you for taking care of your mom. She is so very blessed to have such a caring daughter.

I really love hearing about you and your family. I look forward to what you have to share each day.

Thank you for the beautiful freebie. I don't know what my problem is. I usually don't get to this until quite late at night, so when I came to the blog last night I didn't pay any attention to the date. I knew I had been here the night before. I just downloaded the gift and went on my merry way. I just checked the blog thinking that I would do it earlier tonight, and it was the same as what I read last night. Then I noticed the date and realized I had missed your Tuesday posting because of my weird hours. I was sick that I missed the freebie for Tuesday because this is such a gorgeous kit. Will it be available for sale soon?

Thanks again for sharing your wonderful talents and bits of your life with us.

Robbi and Mike said...

Hummmm, I left a post early this morning, maybe it didnt go through. Just wanted to send a Big Hug and say - God Bless you for being such a wonderful Daughter- And I hope mine are as delightful as you! Its not easy and so glad you can laugh to get through it. Take care and great idea for the extra fridge ;)